13 posts tagged “ramblins”

• Vox is starting to get boring again.  Not a lot of updates, and honestly I'm not real motivated to post here either.  I have another blog that I resurrected the later part of 08, but I don't like trying to maintain two blogs. But, I just might go back to posting there exclusively.
  
• Health wise - I'm doing wonderful!  Still taking my Herceptin ever 21 days!  If I didn't have the medi-port and had the need to visit the hospital for the one infusion I would feel 100% normal.  I've been following up on the nodules identified on my thyroid during the PET and CT scans taken during my active breast cancer treatment.  My Oncologist didn't think it was anything and wanted to wait until I finished the course of my treatment.  I actually brought it up as I want to rule out any potential problems read:thyroid cancer.  Had my first appointment with yet another Dr.M this morning.  She was cool, a breast cancer survivor.  She did a sonogram of the nodules on my thyroid and they drew blood to study my thyroid activity.  There will probably be a specialize scan (forgot what she called it) and perhaps a biopsy.  She told me she felt they were benign and that I shouldn't have anything to worry about.
• Well I have a long "to do" list for this month!!! The builder advised me that my new home will be completed on Feb 26th.  So, one of the things I loathe - packing will have to start soon.  Along with all the other tasks associated with a move.  I'm excited!  But this date actually caused me to cancel my plans to go to San Francisco for my birthday.  Yea, its the exact week.  But well worth it!
• Speaking of travel, I've decided to go to Australia this summer instead of Greece.  I saw a program on television that featured Melbourne - LOVED IT!
• Been shopping for contemporary art and few specific pieces.  I think I'm going to be painting a few on my own pieces.  I forgot how expensive art supplies are though - MY GOSH!  I don't know how/why I forgot considering T is a second year art major and I've had to buy her supplies every semester.
• One of my favorite shows is back!  Nip Tuck!  I think we are about 3 episodes into the new season.  Christian has male breast cancer and of course he has turned it into way to get more sex!  Whore!  Loves it!  Also, I watched RuPaul's new show "Drag Race" OMG!  Some of them are a hott ass mess!  His show should be interesting.
• Work is work.  I'm blessed.  I have work.
• Life is good!
  

• Happy 2009!  This is my first "ramblins" of the year.  The year for me has gotten off to a pretty decent start.  I don't plan to post much about breast cancer this year after this post, with the exception of occasional updates.   To all those in my Vox family that provided words of encouragement, blessings and positive vibes - THANK YOU!  You helped me get through a rough year and your support was appreciated!
• Funny thing is... for the last couple of week I've wanted to disassociate myself from all things cancer related.  I think it has to do with it being a new year and being told I was "cancer free" the first week in December.  I really want to put it all behind me.  I thought through this yesterday - I don't think that I can ever do that.  It's part of who I am now - forever.  And is it really healthy to do that?  I have been skipping my group sessions at Gilda's why?  Because it and the people there remind me of cancer.  I blew off a rehab appointment for my arm yesterday.  Why?  Because I did not want to look at Presbyterian Hospital yesterday and be reminded of cancer.  I can't get away from it if I tried though.  When I pass a mirror and see the peach fuss pattern of my hair growing back in - I'm reminded I had cancer.  When I shower and brush my hand across the bump that is the medi-port still in my chest for the purpose of infusions - I'm reminded I had cancer.  Every 21 days I return to the hospital for the infusion of Herceptin.  I sit in a room full of other patients in different stages of receiving chemotherapy - I'm reminded I had cancer.  Yea, I need to get my ass back over to Gilda's for my Wellness Group! 
• Had my first mammogram since the breast cancer diagnosis today.  I have to say I was nervous!  Went back to Dr. J's office, where it all started last March.  She was happy to see me and said I looked great!  She also did a sonogram of the breast that had the cancer.  She said everything looked great!  She now has to see me every six months to do a mammogram of that breast because of the history.  C went with me which was very cool!  I think I would have beat every person in that office ass if she told me anything remotely close to "you have something strange, you have breast..., let's do a biopsy.."  Instead she said every thing was fine and showed my sketches her 12 year daughter had done.  Lucky for her :)
  
• When I was growing up my mother had a formal living room which we really didn't use much.  It was always kept nice and used for special occassions.  Your folks have a room like that?  My mother also had underwear and night gowns that she reserved for "special" occassions.  Didn't make a lot of sense when I was a kid, however as a grew older and had my own household I started doing the same thing!  In previous homes I've had formal "off limits" rooms.  No one could sit in the room, vaccum cleaner lines had to be present on the carpet.  I loosened up on that in the last few years because I realized I wanted to live in every room in my home, and it was kinda dumb to have a room that no one used.  Still, I had "things" reserved as "special" certain clothes, shoes, jewelry and even perfume.  But why?  I could die tonight and my daughter T would get all that shit!  And knowing her, sell it on Ebay with no thought about it at all.  I was talking to T about this yesterday...  I told her I'm going to start wearing all my shit, all the time!  Although, I work from home.. I'm going to stop reserving stuff... gonna spray on my Cartier perfume in the mornings, Prada in the evenings and wear my nicest jeans around the house.  She laughed and said "when I come in from work you gonna be sitting up in here dressed in your best clothes, with your best jewlery and perfume on!"  I told her you damn skippy! Why not?  I need to stop thinking about living tomorrow and start living every day like its my last one - you dig??  Tomorrow is not promised.
• The house is coming along great!  I asked the builder for a firm completion date.  He is thinking it will be done mid March instead of the end.  Barring any bad weather he has committed to providing the date within the next week or so.
• I think I have located the chairs I want for my sitting area in the kitchen.  Teresa thanks for reminding me about E3Q.  I went yesterday afternoon to look at one I saw online.  They have about a 8 week shipping time, so I will see if I find anything I like better in the next week or so before ordering them.
• Work is going great!  Easing into the new year with the perfect pace.  Still some worrisome accounts, but I won't complain.  I'm so blessed to have a job!
• T starts a new semester on the 19th.  Had to drop the tuition for her classes this morning - yea as usual she waited to the last minute.  She works nearly a 40 hour week on her part time job!  In the voice of Rick Ross "every day she hustlin!"
• Dropping the mic!
  

and definitely a cheaper one....  this sleeve is making my arm ITCH like crazy!  I equate it to a arm or leg itching with a cast on it.... and needing to take a clothes hanger and stick it down in the cast to scratch.

Good thing is, I CAN take it off :)  Arm might blow up like Popeye the sailor man's arm - but, I can take it off nonetheless.

I think I'm going to order a more fashion forward sleeve from LympheDIVAs.  If I must were this mess, it has to a least be cute!

In other news.....  I'm was off today and am off tomorrow and all of next week!!!  I really enjoyed not having to deal with work stuff today.  I did submit my vacation request for the entire year of 2009.  We have to do it all at one time and first come first get - so the sooner the better.  Me and my boss are tight... so I suspect she will approve all 160 hours I submitted.  She better considering I worked like a Hebrew slave for my company, and this year I even worked through cancer and only took off five days after having surgery.

• Today will be my 25th of 33 radiation treatments.  Wednesday will start what is called "boost" treatments - there will be six of those.  In this treatment they focus the radiation directly where the tumor was located vs.. the entire breast.  I've had little reaction to treatment, some tanning and a slight tingle is all I have noticed.  New special markings were done last week.  Looks like a child took a green Sharpie to my tit!
  
• I've been such the winner since I've been going through my breast cancer journey.  Really, I've be extremely lucking in contest.  I won a beautiful bracelet for posting my story on the Pink for October website, I won a t-shirt from Words to Live By tees for my answer to what has made me "Resilient."  And just last week I won five $5.00 gift cards for Smoothie King from a breast cancer survivor website.
• Christmas music in the stores immediately after Halloween annoys me to no end.  Can we get through Thanksgiving first?   Anyway, since I felt forced I dusted off my Christmas play list on the iPod in my living room and let it rip!
• Finally getting over this cold!  Only thing remaining is a dry cough that sounds way more painful than it is.
• Still geeked about buying the new townhouse this past weekend!  I have an appointment to pick out things like kitchen cabinets, flooring, kitchen and bath room fixtures, lighting, granite counter tops/back splash, paint etc. tomorrow morning.   Everything in the home will be modern to go with my decor, there are just so many choices!!
• Still wanting to go to the inauguration in January - the hotel room is the problem.
• Cabo San Lucus in December!  Yeaaaaaa Boy!!!!
• For Thanksgiving we are eating out.  Not in the mood for a lot of laborious ass cooking. Although, I will make a few lite items for us to have later in the evening.
• Vacation planning for 2009 has begun.  C and I will be going to "European Vacation Night" to see presentations for land and cruise vacations from the different cruise lines and travel companies tomorrow night.  Should be fun, plus there is free wine and cheese!
• I think I'm Barack Obama's biggest fan. C and I watched he and Michelle on 60 Minutes last night.  Bentley was on the bed laying down.  I told him to sit up and pay attention because his daddy was on tv - LOL!  Bentley is a dog :)
• Will Smith will be in Dallas tomorrow - I think he is pushing his new movie Seven Pounds.  I like Will, he does good work.
  

• I'm not 100% today, more like 70%.  Woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose.  I am happy to have gotten through the last eight months without catching a cold!  With my lowered immune system a common cold could have put me in the hospital.  Thank god I got through chemo without catching one.  I've taken over the legal limit of over the counter meds to try to stop it from getting worse :)  I had things to do today!  Laying up with a cold really wasn't on my "to do" list.
• I road around the majority of the day looking at townhouses.  I just moved in Jan of this year, but really not "feeling" my location.  Kinda too many old people in the community - I'm old (not really), but not old as some of the resident around me.  Plus, I've been thinking of moving to somewhere more, uptown, downtown, urban like and I want new construction.  I have no restrictions now that T has graduated, I don't care about school districts anymore or need a yard or to have kids around for her.  I can live where I want to!!!!!!!!!!  A condo or townhouse meets my needs, since I don't want to do lawns and stuff anymore. I want it to be modern/contemporary since that's my design aesthetic.   Visited five communities today, each had qualities I liked which I wish I could combine into the perfect home.  The one I really like best is at the top of my budget.  If I feel up to it, I'm going to do some more shopping tomorrow.  The economy sucks, but interest rates are low, inventory is high, all the builders I visited today are all offering 15K-20K in incentives and 3K-5K toward closing costs.  It's a buyers market baby!
• At the midpoint in my radiation treatments - I think I have about 15 or 16 treatments under my belt.  I'm so tired of that sh%@!  My breast is getting darker too - not a good look! What eves......  My Radiation Oncologist is kinda crazy, he says the same thing every week, and talks in circles - what gives?
• I will be celebrating the completion of treatment and Christmas in Cabo!  I'm so excited!  We will be there the entire week of xmas, basking in the sun.  I got a super nice room - 920 sqft.  I might not come back.
• 

  Cabo
  
  
• I have decided to do a project that I think will be challenging, but a phenomenal experience!  Can't say much about it now, but it will be something good for me and hopefully helpful to others.  Just hoping I can stay motiviated enough to complete the task.  More later...
• New gadget alert!  Well I recently purchased a Macbook Air - this past summer.  We are Mac people, with another Macbook that T uses for school, and also a Mac Mini for personal use.  For work, I use a Dell laptop - it's aiight.   Company provided, so it is what it is.   I haven't purchased a PC for personal use in years!  The new craze is the multitude of little netbooks that are out by most of the PC makers.   Being the gadget whore that I am, I had to have one!  I've been researching them - reading reviews, studying specs and whatnot for awhile.  I decided on the Asus Eee and bought it from Best Buy last night.  It has the best specifications for the price.... Win XP, 120 gb hard drive, 1 gb RAM, 10" screen.  I got a piano black one.  I didn't need it, but its too cute and ultra portable to pass up.

• 
  

Had the Radiology consultation yesterday morning.  My Radiation Oncologist is a male which is strange considering my Radiologist, Breast Cancer Surgeon and Medical Oncologist have all been females.  Dr. S seems like he will be nice to work with and my Oncologist Nurse gave him high reviews.  After speaking with Dr.S I had to prepare for the treatment - the doctor and Physicist had to figure out the best position for my body to lay for the treatment.  It took about an hour to do the "markings"  They drew lines with a marker all over my breast area and side to target where the machine would focus my dose of radiation.  After the markings were made, a CT scan of my body was taken.

I was instructed not to wash off the markings. They used a permanent marker, which they said would fade over time, but avoid scrubbing them when bathing.  Washing them off would require that I go through to simulation process all over again.  Why did I shower this morning, totally forgetting that they were there because I was half asleep and washed two of them off already?  They put clear tape on the very important marks - so hopefully I'm good.

First treatment is on Monday and will be daily except for the weekends for the next 6.5 weeks.  The process is only about 30 minutes, the actual treatment they say is only about 5 minutes.  Dr. S., said the side effects are nothing like chemo - fatigue and possibly some skin irritation or blistering which would more than likely occur toward the end of the 6 1/2 weeks. 

I found this image and thought it exemplified how I felt yesterday, paint her brown and put the target on the right breast and that's me baby!  I laid around with my right arm and tit out in a cold room in the dark too long :)

I'm happy to get this phase of my treatment started, just so I can be finished with it.  I'm really ready to get back to my normal life, I'm looking forward to not have to think about cancer on the daily bases.

In other news...

• In observation of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month on Oct 1st I went Pink for October here on Vox and my personal blog.
• I've been trying to get out a bit, since I've been feeling pretty good lately - went to the Oktoberfest a couple of weeks ago and the Texas State Fair twice!  I still can't eat like I use to, but I did have a few of my favorite treats.
• Finally saw Lakeview Terrace.  I was highly disappointed it was very slow and predictable.  I did something I never do during a movie - went to the bathroom and the snack bar and took my time as I was in no hurry to get back to the movie.
• I joined the movement to go beyond the cure by joining the Army of Women.
• Work has been extremely busy, I've received three new accounts in the last couple of days.  It does help the days go faster... but damn they need to slow it down.
• Decided I will definitely be going on vacation the week of Christmas.  I need a vacation from everything :)  I looked into cruises, but they are too expensive for 7 days with only 6 - 8 hours spent at 2 or 3 destinations and the other days at sea.  I don't think I can appreciate anywhere in 6-8 hours.  My options are Puerto Rico, Buenos Aires, Puerto Vallarta or Acapulco.  Any suggestions?
• I'm glad Fall is finally here, I'm enjoying the cool weather.  I have some new argyle sweaters I can't wait to wear.

That's all I have for now.

• Wow!  The last treatment really knocked me off my block!  I have worked from my bed since Tuesday - basically, weak, sleeping and battling the hot flashes between doing my conference calls and responding to emails.  Per usual, no real appetite - I've lost 8lbs since last Friday. 
  
• I felt good enough to get out this afternoon with C.  I honestly didn't think I would be able to, but I wanted to try since I had not been out of the house since last Saturday.  It was good to get out, I'm glad I went. 
• Don't forget to tune into the Stand Up To Cancer  network tele event tomorrow afternoon at  7:00 CT.  I will be going to a dinner and viewing party to watch the event tomorrow night - should be fun!
• I must be an overnight celebrity!  Got a call from Gilda's Clubhouse this afternoon, they want me to do another taping.  The Program Director that called said "you are so famous, we were hoping you would do another taping."  She went on to say, "I'm going to get your autograph and sell it on Ebay."  This taping will be of a Wellness Support session next Tuesday night, so there will be other members involved.  Gotta make sure I were a cool hat!
• I'm looking forward to these two movies this month:

• TGIF!! I'm so happy for the weekend.  I have absolutely nothing planned and that is just fine with me.  My work week has been getting increasingly busy as I am picking up more accounts.  I had a "lull" if you will for several months after closing a few big accounts.  The break was nice, and it was at the start of my treatment so the timing was good to not have a lot to do on the days I didn't feel my best.  This week I've only felt so-so, but managed to get through it.
• Benzie should be ready on Monday!!!  He is at the dealership (body shop), been there since Aug 6th.  Some low life, envious, mean and I believe "racist" person keyed him at the mall back in June.  Benzie has spent more time at the dealership than in my garage!  I got it in May I think, and for at least 30 days in total it has been in the shop.  1st was the nutt case that backed into my bumper in a Marshall's parking lot, after picking it up from having the bumper replaced the SAME DAY someone keyed it at the mall.  Can't have nothing around here!  2 strikes already, if a third thing happens I will say he's jinxed and get rid of it.  
• Well, started "working out" this week with a personal trainer.  At my last chemotherapy treatment my Oncologist Nurse asked me if I was excersing everyday.  Almost lied, then I said "no".  She told me that excersing at least 30 minutes a day will give me a 45 - 50% chance of not having my Breast Cancer re occur.  She had my Oncologist send a referral over to Cancer Foundation For Life for the "Fit For Life" program.  They offer, free of charge at many locations around the area the use of a personal trainer and workout facility.  One of the locations is Gilda's Club!  So, I went for my session with "Matt".  Let me tell you, he WORKED MY ASS OUT!  I've committed to 2-3 times a week.  Thinking about buying my own treadmill too...  With all the weight loss, I need to start firming up anyway and get healthier in the process.  C took the picture below with her Crackberry - I'm usually not that black and blurry :)
  
• Been thinking, I'm going to squeeze in a 2008 vacation!  Since Puerto Rico and Greece had to be cancelled because of the "BC" this summer.  I should be in a good position (done with chemo and radiation) in December so why not in celebratory fashion pack my bags and hit the wind?  I was thinking Buenos Aires, Argentina - until I check the total trip price on Travelocity - um no way Jose' too much.  Any ideas for a warm weather vacation in December?

• I'm noticing that people in my neighborhood are not posting that much anymore.  I really like Vox, but I have to admit it isn't as exciting as it use to be - not sure exactly why.  I haven't been real motivated to post here either - not sure exactly why.  I do read the posts here on Vox, but also read a lot of blogs in my Bloglines.  I no longer have a personal blog, perhaps I should turn it back "on".
• It has been 100 degree temps here all week!  Chemo, the sun and heat don't mix well - so my ass has almost been on lock down until the afternoon and evenings.
• Finally, McCain has realized what we already know, Barack Obama is a rock star!  And oh by the way McCain, yes he can lead! Anybody else see the campaign ad?
• I sat through 30 hours last week on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to complete a class for required education hours for the renewal of my real estate licenses.  Boy was it gruesome!  The class (The Art of Negotiation) itself was not so bad as I actually learned quite a bit.  It was just the sitting there for all those hours each day that was tough! Saturday night (actually before day), I starting getting sick and prayed I would feel better to return on Sunday, which I was able to.  I missed 2 out of 60 on the final exam!  One was because I read the darn question wrong.  The other the instructor said everyone was missing it, so she thinks she didn't cover it well.
  
• I am so not looking forward to "poison day" next week - also known as chemotherapy.  The days prior to treatment I begin to get anxious so this has become a normal thing.  As much as I dreaded the process, I have realized a few perks from chemo:
• No need for a Brazilian or full body wax, since I'm virtually hair less.
• Don't have to brush my hair
  
• Weight loss - since 7/18 I've lost about 13 lbs.
• No periods - hoping it stays away for good :)
  
• Eating healthier, less butter more olive oil
• One of the side effects I don't like is the change in my nails..... peep this!
• 

  ChemoNails

         
I'm holding one of my perfume bottles since I'm right handed and this is my right hand and I had to take the picture with my left hand. The discoloration (purple-ish) is most prominent on the thumb nails, but its now showing up on the other nails.

• Another is actually the way my taste buds have been affected.  Anyone that knows me knows I really enjoy food.  Now, eating has become a chore vs. something I always looked forward to doing.  I like highly seasoned food, so eating has become a challenge because nothing tastes seasoned.  That fact coupled with the loss of appetite is the cause for the weight loss.
  

• We are psyched!  SCAD (Savannah College of Art Design) is said to be opening a campus here - downtown Dallas.  For me that means, no out of state fees or room and board fees for T when she transfers there next year. The final decision should be within 30 to 60 days.
• Speaking of T she has an interview today for a Receptionist job at a Law Firm. I'm happy because she is under paid at Hollister and hasn't been getting many hours lately.  Good luck baby girl!
• Speaking of T again, she does need a better paying job so she can pay toward her car insurance and maintenance.  I had her Land Rover serviced yesterday, it was preventative maintenance.  It was inspected and other than needing a little freon for the AC the mechanic said it was in excellent shape!  I did have several items replaced, flushed and serviced to ensure it continues to drive well and remain in good shape - set me back $900.00.  Yea, she needs to contribute to the cause - which is vehicle ownership.
• Been doing a little decorating (and I do mean little) with some new accessories for each of my living room spaces.  For what I call the "white room" I changed the accent color to like a lime green.  Green and white pillows were added to the two white leather sofas in the room and also added some gorgeous ceramic vases, both white and green on my coffee table.  In the room I call my "brown room"  I got new shades and also for the kitchen sliding doors.  In the picture you can't tell, because the pic is dark and looks like crap but the shade is a chocolate brown which blends nicely with the brown leather sectional.  The shade filters the light and adds the privacy that I didn't have before.