I've Had Better News...

Met with the Medical Oncologist this morning - Dr.M (a different Dr.M - not Dr.M the Surgeon).  She explained that I am Estrogen Receptor negative, which means that the growth of the cancer cells were not encouraged by Estrogen.  However,  I am HER2 positive which equates to a higher probability of re occurrence of Breast Cancer, due to the fast growing nature of the cancer and often offers the worst prognosis.   Even though the tumor was removed, there is a possibility that cancer may be "unseen" in other places - she stated that unequivicably I must have Chemotherapy due to the manner in which cancer cells grow in my body.

I will have six cycles of Chemotherapy (cycles occur every 3 weeks), my chemo cocktail will be Taxotere, Cytoxan and Herceptin.  In addition to the six cycles I will continue on with Herceptin every 3 weeks for 6 months.  From Wikipedia - Herceptin is a humanized monoclonal antibody that acts on the HER2/neu (erbB2) receptor.  Principal use is as an anti-cancer therapy in breast cancer in patients whose tumors over express (produce more than the usual amount of) this receptor. Herceptin is administered either once a week or once every three weeks intravenously for 30 to 90 minutes. 

Dr. M's nurse gave me three pages of definite and potential side affects I will encounter from the chemo cocktail.  She also provided me with prescriptions for  a steroid and  two anti nausea drugs along with with a recipe for a mouth rinse and a nose spray that is supposed combat dryness.  It was all just too much today, information overload!  I honestly stopped listening because my mind just floated away as I started to think about what I did to deserve this.  Why me?

The nurse kept asking me if I wanted a prescription for a wig - "you sure you don't want one?" Losing my hair is not a major concern for me.  I've worn a short haircut for almost 15 years - hair, or the lack there of, is not a big deal.  I was also told that I will have to have Dr.M (Surgeon) put a port in my chest for the administering of the Chemotherapy.  I DO NOT WANT A PORT IN MY CHEST!!!! This news was the start of my shutdown I think.

Next week, I have to get a bone scan, chest scan, and some heart analysis shit!!  The Chemotherapy is set to begin the first week in June, after the tests next week and the port placement.

I reviewed my medical claims submitted to insurance since the diagnoses in March - $29K and counting.  Cancer is expensive!  Thank god I have insurance.

With all this treatment news, beside the fact I'm heading into another weekend with this freakin drain still hanging at my side - it seems things would be better if I just put a pistol to my temple and pull the trigger.